The wish list of a dying mother: Cancer sufferer leaves husband the 100 things he must do with their two young sons... and tells him to 'find another

By CLAIRE ELLICOTT

Devoted mother: Kate Greene with her sons Reef and Finn on holiday


Diagnosed with terminal cancer, Kate Greene had to come to terms with the fact that she would not see her young sons grow up.

But, determined to be an ongoing presence in their lives, she drew up a ‘mummy’s manual’ of more than 100 instructions, hopes and ambitions for her two boys to read after her death.

Mrs Greene, who died at the age of 37 following a two-year battle with breast cancer, wanted Finn, four, and Reef, six, to visit a Welsh beach where she holidayed as a child, attend an international rugby match and go to Switzerland, where her husband St John proposed to her.


St John and Kate with their sons Reef and Finn on a trip to Disney World, Florida. Kate's 'to'do' list requests that her husband takes the boys there again


She outlines basic principles she wants Mr Greene, 44, to instil in the boys, such as to be always on time, to treat girlfriends with respect and to make up after a row.

She also makes it clear that they should never smoke, ride motorbikes or join the Armed Forces.

Other instructions are heartbreakingly simple. She asks her sons to find their own four-leaf clover, learn to play a musical instrument and grow sunflowers.


St John Greene with his sons Finn (left) and Reef on the beach in Clevedon - a favourite spot of their mother Kate


She also notes things she liked, such as walks on the river bank and learning butterfly and bird names.Selflessly, she even urges her husband to find another woman so the boys have a female influence.

Mr Greene plans to tick off all the wishes, and has already fulfilled some, including buying a dining table for the family to eat round and building a playroom extension for their home in Clevedon, Somerset.

The ex-paramedic, who now runs an outdoor pursuits company, met his future wife, an insurance underwriter and part-time scuba diving teacher, in 1984.
Tragedy first struck in December 2005, when Mrs Greene was pregnant with Finn. Doctors found a tumour in Reef’s abdomen.

Given a 6 per cent chance of survival, he had intensive chemotherapy then surgery to remove the tumour, which damaged nerves in his legs.


StJohn and Kate on their wedding day in 1996. The devoted mother left a touching 'to do' list of over 100 instructions for raising their two young sons


Doctors warned that he might never walk again but, incredibly, he recovered and the cancer went into remission.

Then in April 2008, Mrs Greene found a lump in her left breast. She underwent 18 months of chemotherapy, but doctors told her the disease had spread too far and her treatment was stopped.

Her condition deteriorated and two months later she needed oxygen tanks at home to survive. She died in January this year.


Croke Park Stadium in Dublin: Kate told her husband he must take their sons there to see Ireland play England in the Six Nations rugby


Mr Greene said: ‘I think towards the end we both knew Kate’s time was up. We’ve known each other since we were children and didn’t need to say the words. We just knew.

‘Then one night she became really frightened she wouldn’t make it through the night, we stayed up chatting and at about 4am we drew up the wish list of things I had to do with the boys. Before I knew it, there were over three sides of A4.’

The family fulfilled a number of Mrs Greene’s final wishes before she died, such as visiting Santa in Lapland, going to Disney World in Florida and seeing a pantomime.

Mr Greene, who said each item on the list helped him remember his ‘soulmate’, said yesterday: ‘Losing Kate was more devastating than words can describe but by carrying out all the wishes on the list we still have an emotional tie.’


source :dailymail